Funny Fortune Cookie Fortunes for the New Year
Once yous decide which fortune cookies you want, simply scroll down that folio until you run into the box that says, "Type Your Custom Fortune Cookie Messages Hither". After deciding about dipping and sprinkles (if desired) you'll see the 5 spaces to enter your personalized fortunes:
Y'all can choose to do simply one custom message, or your tin can use up to all five! Call back, to divide the fortunes among several flavors, as you add together each season to your cart, simply type which message(southward) y'all want to be inside that flavor. Nosotros'll separate them upwardly evenly unless you telephone call united states with special instructions.
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Need ideas for what to say in your fortunes?
Hither are some samples of fortune cookie letters.
- Wedding & Date Fortune Cookie Sayings
- Corporate & Promotional Fortune Cookie Sayings
- Inspirational Fortune Cookie Sayings
- Bar/Bat Mitzvah Fortune Cookie Sayings
- Baby Shower Fortune Cookie Sayings
-
Birth Declaration Fortune Cookie Sayings - Birthday Fortune Cookie Sayings
- Romantic Fortune Cookie Sayings
- Bachelorette Fortune Cookie Sayings
- Thank Yous Fortune Cookie Sayings
- Halloween Fortune Cookie Sayings
- Christmas & Winter Holiday Letters
- New Years & Chinese New Years Fortunes
- Corporate New Yr Fortunes
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Romantic Fortune Cookie Sayings
When nosotros meet, you make full my eyes; When we function y'all make full my heart.
Just yous tin brand my eye crumble…
A sensual full body massage is in your very near future.
Y'all will spend the remainder of your life with the human being (or daughter) of your dreams…
Roses are red, violets are blue, I am so happy that I love you!
You lot volition soon become unexpected kisses in unexpected places.
I dear you with all my heart, and am more than fortune-ate than all the fortune cookies in the world because I have you.
You lot need only to understand that information technology is not necessary to sympathize, but just to enjoy… in bed!
Just know as yous go through each day in that location is ane thing I wish I could say, you make me smiling with every thought of you.
It is your good fortune to share life's special moments with the one you love.
You will shortly get unexpected kisses in unexpected places.
A thrilling night is in your futurity… in bed.
Give thanks You lot Fortune Cookie Sayings
No duty is more urgent than that of returning cheers.
Unknown
Let us be grateful to people who make us happy; they are the mannerly gardeners who make our souls bloom.
Marcel Proust
Blessed are those that tin can give without remembering and receive without forgetting.
Author Unknown
At that place is a calmness to a life lived in Gratitude, a serenity joy.
Ralph H. Blum ( American Author )
A contented heed is the greatest approval a man can enjoy in this world.
Joseph Addison
To speak gratitude is courteous and pleasant, to enact gratitude is generous and noble, simply to live gratitude is to impact Heaven.
Johannes A. Gaertner
Gratitude is not only the greatest of virtues, but the parent of all the others.
Cicero
Every time we remember to say thank you, we experience nothing less than heaven on earth.
Sarah Ban Breathnach
Nothing is more honorable than a grateful center.
Seneca
Gratitude is the fairest blossom which springs from the soul.
Henry Ward Beecher
If the simply prayer you lot ever say in your unabridged life is thank you, it will exist enough.
Meister Eckhardt
I can pay back the loan of gold, but one dies forever in debt to those who are kind. Malayan Saying
Unselfish and noble actions are the well-nigh radiant pages in the biography of souls. David Thomas
Non what we requite,
But what nosotros share,
For the gift
without the giver
Is bare.
James Russell Lowell
Silent gratitude isn't much use to anyone. One thousand.B. Stern
I tin can no other answer brand, but, thank you, and thanks. William Shakespeare
The only people with whom you should try to get even are those who have helped you lot. John E. Southard
I would maintain that thank you are the highest form of thought, and that gratitude is happiness doubled by wonder. Thousand.K. Chesterton
I would thanks from the bottom of my middle, but for you my heart has no bottom. Author Unknown
The smallest deed of kindness is worth more than the grandest intention. Oscar Wilde
Gratitude is the memory of the center. Jean Baptiste Massieu, translated from French
How far that little candle throws his beams!
So shines a good human activity in a weary globe.
William Shakespeare
It's nice to exist important, simply it'south more important to be overnice. Author Unknown
Kindness is the language which the deaf tin hear and the blind tin can encounter. Mark Twain
How beautiful a twenty-four hour period can be
When kindness touches information technology!
George Elliston
We can only be said to exist alive in those moments when our hearts are conscious of our treasures. Thornton Wilder
I feel a very unusual sensation - if it is non indigestion, I think it must be gratitude. Benjamin Disraeli
Hem your blessings with thankfulness so they don't unravel. Author Unknown
A friend is the 1 who comes in when the whole world has gone out.
- Grace Pulpit
One can never pay in gratitude:
one tin can only pay 'in kind' somewhere else in life.
Anne Morrow Lindbergh
When someone comes along who genuinely cheers us, we will follow that person a very long way.
Alan Loy McGinnis
No duty is more urgent than that of returning thanks.
St. Ambrose
Appreciation is a wonderful matter;
it makes what is excellent in others belong to us besides.
Voltaire
The applause of a single human beingness is of great consequence.
Samuel Johnson
Flattery is from the teeth out.
Sincere appreciation is from the middle out.
Dale Carnegie
Nine-tenths of wisdom is appreciation.
Go find somebody's hand and clasp it... while there is still time.
Dale Dauten
Saying thank you is more than skillful manners. Information technology is practiced spirituality.
- Alfred Painter
Gratitude is non only the greatest of virtues, but the parent of all the others.
- Cicero
Gratitude is the fairest flower which springs from the soul.
- Henry Ward Beecher
Appreciation can brand a day, even change a life. Your willingness to put it into words is all that is necessary.
- Margaret Cousins
The deepest peckish of homo nature is the need to be appreciated.
- William James
Gratitude is the memory of the heart.
- Jean Baptiste Massieu
Silent gratitude isn't much employ to anyone. - G.B. Stern
Gratitude is the best attitude.
- Author Unknown
Who does not give thanks for little will non thank for much.
- Estonian Proverb
We often take for granted the very things that near deserve our gratitude.
- Cynthia Ozick
When eating bamboo sprouts, remember the man who planted them.
- Chinese Proverb
Thanks are justly due for boons unbought. - Ovid
Hem your blessings with thankfulness and so they don't unravel. -Author Unknown
Thankfulness is the beginning of gratitude. Gratitude is the completion of thankfulness. Thankfulness may consist merely of words. Gratitude is shown in acts.
- Henri Frederic Amiel
For me, giving thanks is a sign of appreciation and gratitude that also brings about a deep sense of peace.
- Wally "Famous" Amos
Gratitude unlocks the fullness of life.
- Melody Beattie
No one who achieves success does so without acknowledging the aid of others. The wise and confident acknowledge this help with gratitude.
- Alfred North Whitehead
Feeling gratitude and non expressing it is like wrapping a present and non giving it.
- William A. Ward
Love Fortune Cookie Sayings
You are my sunshine.
Y'all are my 1 and but.
You lot will be loved...forever.
Your smile brightens my day.
You will share life's special moments with the one you beloved.
You are the "home" where my middle is.
Y'all bear upon my soul.
Yous brand every moment magical.
Y'all are my everything.
You will exist awakened in the morning time with a buss.
A soft kiss is in your future.
You make everyday things special.
Yous will spend quality time with the one you love.
You will soon get unexpected hugs and kisses in unexpected places.
You volition receive a romantic card in the post.
Yous will be surprised with flowers and dinner.
You lot are ever on my mind.
No ane on Earth is equally cute as you lot.
You make my heart skip a beat.
At that place is no place on Earth I'd rather be than with you.
You are proof that my prayers have been answered.
A thrilling fourth dimension is in your future.
I love you with all my center.
Destiny brought us together, only dearest is what keeps u.s.a. together.
I'm and so "fortune-ate" to have you in my life.
A quiet dark of cuddling on the couch is in your future.
How do I love thee? Let me count the ways.
Roses are red. Violets are blue. Your fortune is simple: I love yous!
Get Well Fortune Cookie Sayings
I wonder why you can always read a doctor'south bill and you can never read his prescription. ~Finley Peter Dunne
Alert: Humor may exist hazardous to your illness. ~Ellie Katz
Happiness is your dentist telling you it won't injure and so having him catch his hand in the drill. ~Johnny Carson
After ii days in the infirmary, I took a turn for the nurse. ~W.C. Fields
You accept a cough? Get home tonight, eat a whole box of Ex-Lax - tomorrow you'll exist afraid to coughing. ~Pearl Williams
To array a man's will against his sickness is the supreme fine art of medicine. ~Henry Ward Beecher
I learned a long time ago that minor surgery is when they practise the functioning on someone else, not you. ~Nib Walton
If you lot're going through hell, keep going. ~Winston Churchill
Sleep, riches, and health to be truly enjoyed must be interrupted. ~Johann Paul Friedrich Richter
If I had my way I'd brand health catching instead of affliction. ~Robert Ingersoll
The greatest healing therapy is friendship and love.
-Hubert Humphrey
There is no medicine like hope, no incentive so great, and no tonic and so powerful as expectation of something tomorrow.
-Orison Swett Marden
Be conscientious when reading health books; you lot may die of a misprint.
-Mark Twain
Time is the best doctor - Yiddish Proverb
Get well cards have get then humorous that if you don't get sick you lot're missing one-half the fun.
- Flip Wilson
Get your rest, and eat your soup and let your little self recoup!
Hope y'all become from resting and cozy to perky and rosy! Feel Amend Soon!
Y'all're being idea about and wished the very best of health.
Roses are red, Violets are groovy, just tin't wait till You're back on your anxiety! Get Well Soon!
A happy notation of sunshine peculiarly for you... May you lot feel as good as new very soon.
Happy healing. Get well soon.
Hurry up and feel meliorate soon.
Hope you're on the mend. Get Well Presently!
I detest to call up of you lying in bed all day with zero to do. Why couldn't it be me instead?!
Warm wishes and healing thoughts are being sent your way. Get well soon.
Hoping y'all feel meliorate and better each day...
Every germ has an angel that watches over it and whispers...
'Dice picayune germ, die!'
May y'all take a speedy road to recovery. Get well soon.
A faithful friend is the medicine of life -Ecclesiastes half-dozen:16
feel better soon...meanwhile, savour the drugs.
Hey diddle diddle, the cat and the fiddle... the cow jumped over the moon...They miss you, you run across, 'crusade they are like me in wishing yous'll get well soon!
Cover up and stay warm. Get well soon.
Hope you lot're feeling "over the weather" shortly.
Feel better...
"Take two of these and telephone call me in the morn."
"Go some rest and beverage plenty of water."
Become well soon.
Wishing you a speedy recovery.
Friends are like medicine; they make you feel better when you're down. Here'south a dose of friendship to speed up your recovery!
Sounds similar you got a pretty nasty bug... sure hope you go well SOON!
Pitiful you oasis't been feeling well lately, certain promise yous go well soon!
Hang in there...
Healing takes courage, and we all have backbone, even if nosotros have to dig a piddling to detect it.
Tori Amos
Love is infectious and the greatest healing energy.
Sai Baba
Throughout history, "tender loving care" has uniformly been recognized as a valuable chemical element in healing.
Larry Dossey
The power of dearest to change bodies is legendary, built into folklore, common sense, and everyday experience.
Larry Dossey
Healing most times needs an atmosphere of organized religion.
Benny Hinn
The greatest healing therapy is friendship and love.
Hubert H. Humphrey
Healing is a moral thing to do.
Jay Inslee
Of ane thing I am certain, the body is non the measure of healing, peace is the measure.
Phyllis McGinley
Healing yourself is connected with healing others.
Yoko Ono
The wish for healing has e'er been half of wellness.
Lucius Annaeus Seneca
Hope is non a dream but a fashion of making dreams get reality.
L. J. Suenens
Somewhen yous will come to understand that honey heals everything, and love is all there is.
Gary Zukav
Bachelorette Fortune Cookie Sayings
Here's to booze: the cause of, and answer to, all of life's problems.
- The Simpsons
Always do sober what you said you lot'd do drunk. That will teach you to keep your mouth shut.
- Ernest Hemingway
Null risque, nothing gained. ~Alexander Woollcott
One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor!
Tonight you will meet the man of your dreams.
Strange men will suck things off your shirt.
Carry your dildo with pride.
Spousal relationship isn't a word, it's a sentence.
- Woody Allen
The advisable age for marriage is effectually eighteen for girls and thirty-seven for men.
- Aristotle
The hugger-mugger of a successful marriage is not to exist at home also much.
Colin Chapman
The longest sentence you can form with two words is: I do.
HL Mencken
I never knew what real happiness was until I got married, and by so it was too belatedly.
Max Kaufman
Love is temporary insanity curable by marriage.
Ambrose Bierce
Marriage is a groovy institution, but I'k not ready for an institution nonetheless.
Mae West
My wife and I were happy for 20 years. Then we met.
Rodney Dangerfield
The hugger-mugger of a happy union remains a secret. - Henny Youngman.
Kissing the bride for more than 5 seconds tin get y'all shot.
A man in beloved is incomplete until he is married. So he is finished. - Zsa Zsa Gabor
Sexual practice on tv tin can't hurt yous unless you lot autumn off. ~Author Unknown
Remember, if y'all fume later on sex you're doing information technology too fast. ~Woody Allen
Don't knock masturbation - it'south sexual practice with someone I dearest. ~Woody Allen
Sexual practice is not the answer. Sex is the question. "Yes" is the answer. ~Swami 10
Sex relieves tension - love causes it. ~Woody Allen
I think I could fall madly in bed with yous. ~Writer Unknown
Sex is emotion in motion. ~Mae West
Sexual practice without love is an empty feel, but every bit empty experiences go it's ane of the all-time. ~Woody Allen
Sexual practice betwixt a homo and a woman can exist absolutely wonderful - provided you get between the right human and the right woman. ~Woody Allen
I know nil about sexual activity, because I was always married. ~Zsa Zsa Gabor
Don't worry, it merely seems kinky the get-go fourth dimension. ~Author Unknown
Anticipation makes the hard-on longer. ~Itsby Stevintary
Kinky is using a feather. Perverted is using the whole chicken. ~Writer Unknown
I'one thousand not cheap, just I am on special this week.
This is your concluding chance to have fun. Live information technology upward!
Over The Colina Fortune Cookie Sayings
You wait like a million bucks... all greenish and wrinkled.
Its all down hill from hither.
Where did yesterday go?
Age is just a number.
The worst part of getting old is the smell.
Please chew thoroughly. This is not a pill.
You lot know you're old when your olfactory organ runs and your feet smell.
Old age is a story with a deep plot.
You know y'all're quondam when you apply words like whippersnapper.
You know your old when yous offset every story with "when I was
your age."
The longer yous alive the more beautiful life becomes.
The secret of staying young is to live honestly, eat slowly, and
prevarication well-nigh your age.
Quondam age isnít so bad.., when y'all consider the alternatives.
Recollect, once you are over the bill you lot begin to choice up speed.
Old as well soon. Smart too late.
Youíre non getting older.., you but collect wrinkles.
Y'all might be old but youre not extinct!
You're non that old! Demand a recount!
Then many candles... So little cake.
You lot may not he able to turn back the clock, but yous tin can wind information technology
up again!
Y'all're not former. Yous're chronologically gifted.
I similar my bifocals, my dentures fit me fine, my hearing assist is
perfect, but Lord I miss my heed!
Yous might be getting former if getting a little action means your prune juice is working.
The undercover to staying young is to find an age you really like and stick with it.
Damn, you got former fast!
Over the hill? I don't remember any colina!
Wow! Y'all could roast a turkey over those altogether candles!
Lying almost historic period is easier when you sometimes forgot what it is
If I had known I was going to alive this long I would have taken better care of myself.
About the time you learn to brand the nearly of life, the almost of information technology is gone!
You're never too quondam to go young.
Expect forward to continued immaturity followed past death.
I call still cut the mustard. I simply need aid opening the jar.
Don't worry, senility is a good thing. Yous're always meeting new friends!
Information technology's always meliorate to wear out than to rust out.
More candles: Bigger wish!
Aged to Perfection!
Just when y'all finally got your caput together your body starts falling apart.
By the time y'all find greener pastures, you can't climb the fence.
Inside every older person is a immature person wondering what happened.
It is never too late to be who you might have been.
At my age, I've got an achy, breaky everything.
I've seen it all, I've heard information technology all, I've done information technology all, I just can't remember it all.
Classic, Genuine, Antiquarian Person!
Count your life by smiles, non tears. Count your historic period by friends, non years.
Growing former is mandatory. Growing upwards is optional!
You should be feeling great... Youíre even so on the right side of the grass!
Fortune Cookie Messages for Dads
A truly rich human is one whose children run into his artillery when his hands are empty.
Sometimes the poorest man leaves his children the richest inheritance.
A father carries pictures where his money used to be.
Any man can exist a father. Information technology takes someone special to be a dad.
By the time a man realizes his father was right, he usually has a son who thinks he's wrong.
A man'south children and his garden both reflect the corporeality of weeding done during the growing flavor.
Success Fortune Cookie Sayings
"All y'all demand in this life is ignorance and conviction; then success is sure."
-Mark Twain
"The secret of success is sincerity. Once yous can fake that you've got information technology made."
-Jean Giraudoux
"I don't know the key to success, but the cardinal to failure is trying to delight everybody."
-Bill Cosby
"Why be a human being when yous can be a success?"
-Bertolt Brecht
"For a successful applied science, reality must have precedence over public relations, for Nature cannot be fooled."
-Richard Feynman
"Nix succeeds like the appearance of success."
-Christopher Lasch
"Nothing fails like success."
-Gerald Nachman
"We must believe in luck. For how else can we explain the success of those nosotros don't like?"
-Jean Cocteau
"Sometimes I worry about being a success in a mediocre world."
-Lily Tomlin
"In Hollywood a marriage is a success if it outlasts milk."
-Rita Rudner
The punishment for success is to be bored past the people who used to snub you lot."
-Nancy Astor
"Part of the secret of success in life is to consume what yous like and allow the food fight information technology out within."
-Mark Twain
"Life is an unbroken succession of simulated situations."
-Thornton Wilder
"Success didn't spoil me, I've always been insufferable."
-Fran Lebowitz
"Nothing changes your opinion of a friend so surely equally success - yours or his."
-Franklin P. Jones
"The world tolerates conceit from those who are successful, but not from anybody else."
-John Blake
"Success unremarkably comes to those who are too decorated to be looking for it."
-Henry David Thoreau
"There's no undercover nearly success. Did yous always know a successful man who didn't tell yous near it?"
-Kin Hubbard
"Failure is not the only penalisation for laziness; there is also the success of others."
-Jules Renard
"All successful newspapers are ceaselessly querulous and bellicose. They never defend anyone or annihilation if they can assistance it; if the job is forced on them, they tackle information technology by denouncing someone or something else."
-H. L. Mencken
"A homo can stand anything except a succession of ordinary days."
-Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
"Anybody can empathize with the sufferings of a friend, but it requires a very fine nature to sympathise with a friend's success."
-Oscar Wilde
"You lot've achieved success in your field when you don't know whether what you're doing is work or play."
-Warren Beatty
"A thinker sees his ain actions equally experiments and questions--as attempts to find out something. Success and failure are for him answers above all."
-Friedrich Nietzsche
"Coming home from very lonely places, all of united states of america go a little mad: whether from groovy personal success, or just an all-night drive, nosotros are the sole survivors of a earth no 1 else has ever seen."
-John le Carre
"Any word you lot have to hunt for in a thesaurus is the wrong discussion. In that location are no exceptions to this dominion."
-Stephen Rex
"Of course there is no formula for success except perhaps an unconditional acceptance of life and what it brings."
-Arthur Rubinstein
"You lot always pass failure on the way to success."
-Mickey Rooney
"A successful individual typically sets his next goal somewhat only non too much above his last achievement. In this mode he steadily raises his level of aspiration."
-Kurt Lewin
"To follow, without halt, one aim: There's the hugger-mugger of success."
-Anna Pavlova
Christmas & Winter Holiday Messages
Deck the halls with laughter and joy.
Merry Everything!
May your holiday season exist wrapped with cheer
and filled with celebration
for the coming year.
May the spirit of the holidays
warm your heart and home
with sweet new memories.
Wishing you a joyous vacation flavor
and a New Year filled with
peace and happiness.
During this gentle season, may you
find time to relish life's simple blessings
and some quiet moments.
'Tis the flavour for good cheer
and jubilant with friends.
Best wishes for merry holidays.
Happy Chrismukkah:
8 days of presents, followed
past i day of many presents.
A Festivus for the residuum of us!
Got your pole yet?
Some other Festivus phenomenon!
New Years & Chinese New Years Fortunes
May peace, prosperity and happiness
be yours throughout the holidays
and the coming New year's day.
All skilful things come to
those who never surrender!
Your life will overflow with
abundant prosperity in 2013.
Celebrate the fresh slate
and all that you will write upon it
in the coming year.
Correct at present there is
and then much possibility in the air—
breathe it in!
How will y'all
make the earth
a better place in 2013?
Dream something BIG ]
and dare something NEW in 2013.
The future looks brighter
every day, and so put on
your sunglasses for 2013!
The spirit that inspires dearest
and laughter will be with you
everyday of the new year.
Corporate New Year Fortunes
Happy New Yr from
everyone at the [Meridian Company].
Keep on making those neat [widgets]!
We celebrate all our
valued squad members
at the [Acme Company].
We at the [Acme Company]
are hither to continue our support
of your business dreams.
The [Acme Company]
appreciates your business—
connected success in 2013.
We predict your business organisation
will abound and thrive in 2013.
Success is inside your reach
in 2013, so go for information technology!
We foresee many opportunities
unfolding for y'all in 2013.
We predict great things for
everyone in our company in 2013.
Giddy / Funny Fortunes
A sunny grinning
beats botox any twenty-four hour period!
Congratulations!
You've won a complimentary weasel.
Fortune cookie…
as much fun equally you can have
with a 2" piece of paper.
A fortune cookie, some chocolate and
some imperial sprinkles walk into a bar…
What did the fortune cookie bakery
say to the bartender?
Put it on my tab!
This is non the fortune
y'all were looking for...
but it'll have to do.
What…y'all were expecting
a greenbacks prize? Would y'all
settle for a winsome grinning?
At that place tin never exist
likewise much chocolate…
not if we get a vote.
9 out of 10 people
dearest chocolate.
The tenth lies.
What'southward the meaning of life?
All evidence to engagement
suggests it'due south chocolate.
Nuts just take up infinite
where chocolate
ought to be.
A little too much
chocolate is
just virtually right.
Chocolate is
nature'southward fashion of
making up for Mondays.
Rx: Dip it in chocolate,
and it'll be fine.
If chocolate is the answer,
the question is irrelevant.
Need more than room for your bulletin?
Order a giant fortune cookie and you lot'll get a huge fortune to lucifer (near a foot long).
The cookie is the world'south largest fortune cookie and weighs in at over 1 pound. Lots of flavor, color and dipping options.
Plus they arrive beautifully packed and beribboned. The perfect unexpected gift.
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